Critigue Pilot #2

1. I think the format is really good I give it a 3. I like how everything seemed to flow, but I suggest making the descriptions evened out so there isn't too much action in one description.

2. The characters are individuals and they each have their own way of acting. I give it a 2 because the main character should be analyzed more and described more.

3. I give the overall story a 2 because it was relatable and interesting to read, but the story line seems too redundant and over done.

I suggest that they should add some more dimensions to the next few scenes so that it becomes mysterious and unexpected.